Britta and Abed do some bonding
by magical realism
Summary: Britta and Abed never really talk... until today. It's not momentous, but it helps them both. Excuse the poor summary.


"Where's Troy?" Asked Britta as she loudly entered Troy, Annie, and Abed's apartment.

"Trying to get Annie's Boobs." Answered Abed, not breaking eye-contact with the television screen as he ate caramel corn one by one.

"What?" Gasped Britta offended.

"The monkey."

"Oh, I forgot about him." Admitted Britta sheepishly.

"Everyone did. That's why I pulled it out. Continuity porn." Abed never made eye contact with Britta, who was wearing her usual, a white tank top, skinny jeans that looked as if they were painted on, and a leather jacket.

"Ookayy." Said Britta. "I'm gonna go." She moved to shut the door on her way out.

"Wait." Commanded Abed, still not looking away from the screen. "Stay. We never really talk, do we? We should. It would give us time to bond. A quirky sub-plot. Besides, now that Annie and Jeff have replaced you and Jeff, we could ship-tease."

"Wow, stick around while my friend is being meta and possibly insulting me, or… not do that. Let me think about that for about a week, until next week actually."

"I understand. You tolerate me. It's cool." Abed avoided looking at Britta, a clear sign that he was upset, for he usually didn't pay attention to where he was looking. That had led to some awkward moments between him and the girls. And some of the boys. All of the boys.

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Cried Britta, joining Abed on the couch. She gave him a gentle pat on the back and he wriggled away. "So... I'm being replaced? By 'Pull-over, V-neck, coral, oops it shrunk in the wash, Sweaterville?" Abed looked confused.

"…Annie?" He guessed. "I thought you'd be jealous. It threw me a sports-ball too."

"Curve-ball." She interrupted.

"But it makes sense. They have an opposites attract thing going on. It's a classic. You and Jeff are more 'birds of a feather.' Except you're a girl and he's a boy."

"So, if I'm not the love-interest, what am I now?" Asked Britta, sincerely interested.

"Butt-monkey." He said, tossing some caramel corn at her.

"What's a butt-monkey?" A look of confusion appeared on her face.

"You used to be Buffy Summers. Now you're Xander Harris. We make fun of you, but the whole world also does. More than usual. It's almost a full-fledged character trait." Abed broke it down for her.

"So I'm a boy now?" She asked weakly.

"Barely." Abed smirked at his own in-joke.

"Can you relate this to... not a nineties show?"

"Sure." Then Abed launched into full-on explanation mode, like Monk at the end of every episode of Monk.

"You have been down-graded from Katherine Heigl in a Katherine Heigl movie to the equivalent of the fat one-shot character in a Katherine Heigl movie."

"I was Katherine Heigl? Point Britta!" She said excitedly.

"Too bad your life is like an episode of Who's Line Is It Anyway? It's fun for the people doing it but not for the people watching it. And the points don't matter." He shot at her.

"Zing." She admitted with a shrug.

There was an awkward pause.

"Was that bonding?" She inquired, stealing a piece of his popcorn and began to toss it in her mouth. Abed turned back to the television and caught the popcorn in his hand as soon as she began the toss.

"In the loosest sense of the word. Quick lesson: I've observed that, after bonding, people feel better than before the bonding. And physical contact happens." He informed Britta as she smirked. Britta reached over and hugged Abed.

"You'll always be like Katherine Heigl to me. Except with a less stretched out face." He confided in her as they hugged on the couch.

"We should stop mentioning her before we start sounding petty. I'm disturbed that we've reached a point of no return on referencing. I don't want our conversation to become central around this gag. Gag's the word I'm looking for right? I should probably stop hugging you; I can feel you getting uncomfortable." Britta pulled away. Abed laughed, a real laugh, it resembled a giggle.

"You know, I'm studying phycology and if some fuddy-duddy had told me all the things you just said, I would've started my descent into madness…" She started to ramble on.

"Which isn't supposed to happen for another year." Abed noticed.

"But, you told me, and it was okay. Maybe t.v really can fix all our problems. It's like a little person that lets you know what you want to hear but not what channel to find it on, especially if you have AT&T." She summed up her thoughts rather neatly. Abed nodded sagely.

"That's why I don't see one. If crazier people on television are fine, I am too." He confessed. Britta nodded back, not really understanding. She started to speak again.

"So what do you want for next year, next season?" She wondered, taking his hand.

"Alvntrst." He mumbled. She strained to hear him.

"I don't have mind reading powers; I'm not Raven from That's So Raven. Can you be louder?" She said, a bit annoyed.

"Raven is physic, Britta. That's kind of the point. And I said a love interest. Would be nice." He turned back to the t.v as to avoid seeing her eyes soften and tear. When he turned back, she was smiling broadly.

"Want me to set you up? We could give you a 'bad dates' montage!" She offered excitedly. He nodded along, pretending to indulge her. They sat in silence, watching television for a few minutes.

"So do we get a couple name now?" She asked, happiness in her tone. Abed nodded at this new development, considering it.

"Brabed?"

"No, still too weird. Not as weird as Trannie, though." They smiled at the 'take that' on their friends. Britta discretely checked her watch, mostly because she didn't want anyone to know that she still used a watch, but it was Ducce and Gabona watch, it almost looked real.

"I noticed. I noticed you checking your watch. You can leave now. No hard feelings." Britta was mortified, but got up and left, shutting the door and forgetting why she had needed to talk to Troy in the first place.


End file.
